HOW WOODIE GOT HIS NAME-AN XXX RATED POST FOR A LONG WINTER'S DAY

Woodie and I were sitting around today wishing it was warmer outside.

Since I don't feel like working on taxes, I thought I'd share his story with you. Woodie's primary job is to keep anyone from sitting on my grandmother's antique desk chair. It had been repaired 3 times when I met Woodie at the Prizm  art store and realized he would look better on that chair than any of our guests. (Murphy's Law #275: the largest man will sit on the smallest, most valuable chair.)

Our friends, Dave and Ellen, joined us for an evening of Caipirinhas and conversation. Many cocktails later Dave decided the pestle was better suited as a pistol for  the newest member of our family.

 

He was so innocent and helpful in the beginning. Not only did he protect the chair, his silhouette in the front window was a deterrent to criminals.

Eight years ago, I was regularly awake at 3 in the morning. Some people count sheep to go back to sleep- I thought up seasonally appropriate hard-ons for Woodie.

Yes, Woodie speaks softly and carries a large stick. A precious gift from my husband, Bill found this beaver gnawed bough while fishing in the Cheat River in West Virginia. Woodie's left hand rests on the green scrapbook which contains all his exploits. Humping Humphrey, the little dog on his leg, was a gift from our friend Pat, who knows how much I love battery operated toys!

 At this point, you may be wondering if we are providing a proper environment for Woodie. While the cleaning ladies have refused to dust him, we make sure he is in a temperature controlled room. Last year while listing several boxes of books for sale on Amazon,  I discovered Woodie's sordid past.

 

Money is no problem. We will spend anything to right the wrongs.  It is a new year and we hope to finally rehabilitate Woodie.  Can you recommend a good glue?   We saved all of his fingers.